Reflections

Let me start at the beginning–before this trip even started. I signed up to do this Government FSP part of the trip practically since the very beginning with my Russian Language cohort, even though I was planning on doing the government section from the start. Had COVID and the War in Ukraine not prevented the trip from happening when it was originally intended (and where it was originally intended), I would have known most people on the trip. I would have had the context of seeing those people almost everyday the past 2 years to learn Russian–I would’ve had friends on this trip. But, as we all know, that didn’t end up happening. None of my Russian classmates were able to swing a Summer 2023 term and while I was committed to going abroad, no matter what, it was a scary thing to think that I would be farther from family than I ever had been before, surrounded by people I wasn’t sure I would be able to get close to. 

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I’m not sure I’ve mentioned this before in my previous reflections, but I have three sisters (Felicity, 23; Addie, 19; Sophia,16) and I’m very close with my parents. As in, I call my parents almost every day that I’m away from them. I really had to hype myself up for this trip as the departure date got closer and closer: leaving my family for the summer when I had only ever been with them?...It was a bitter pill to swallow to be sure. I knew that I was going to be just fine, that I would be able to make friends and see all the new scenery and people and history, but it was hard for me to picture having so much without my sisters and my parents right beside me. 

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This context is important to understand that my most profound experiences here in the Baltic States have been the friendships I’ve made, the wild road trips and eccentric tour guides, the laughter and tears and discussions late into Baltic nights, and the confidence that such experiences have created in me. I believe that I’ve come into my own over the course of these past 10 weeks, in a way that has shaped me for the better for the rest of my life–and what a blessing and relief it is to realize this! I was terrified of leaving home, of graduating college, of being apart from my dear family–but here I am thriving! I look forward to the career ahead of me, I’ve made lifelong friendships with people I would have never met outside of this trip, and I have grown so much in spirit and tenacity. There’s…been a lot on this trip, but–from the bottom of my heart–I wouldn’t have it any other way. And now, as my flight home to Denver speeds towards me, I find myself thrilled beyond measure that I get to bombard my family back home with all these wild tales from Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia! So for the rest of this reflection, I think I’ll make it read like a highlight reel: One brief story after another, told to my family from Vilnius to Riga to Tartu to Tallinn…

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Vilnius Cafe-hopping: Ahh, Sophia, this was the best! I wish so much that you had been here with me! We would have had so much fun eating endless avocado toast on homemade bread, drinking latte after latte, gossiping, working on homework…you would love it here! I think Backstage Roasters would have been your favorite, but the french toast at Coffee Spells was incredible!

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Mikhaila Hurley: I missed you and your humor and sending unhinged memes to you, Addie. I guess I’m really blessed to have made friends with Mikhaila! She was my roommate in Vilnius and we bonded so quickly–but Addie: she reminds of you SO. MUCH. Y’all have both got the love of quirky (parrot!) pants and more pieces of jewelry than I can even count! Y’all have a shared unhinged sense of humor and the drive to be out on the town for a good time for hours and hours! I would pay good money to see you both in the same room just being yourselves!

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Making Rice, Stovetop Style: Felicity, I had the best rice of my life at your apartment on my 20th birthday–it legitimately made me want to get myself an Instapot just so I could replicate that yummy yummy day. Too expensive, though,– I’m still very broke. HOWEVER: I have unlocked the skill of STOVETOP RICE for many of my Girl Dinners (™), and I feel your power. I understand. It just made me think of you, Fee ;)

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Professor Crabtree: This man has wisdom beyond his years! And everytime I’ve had the chance to chat with him in office hours, or hear his experience in government and thoughts on life, quite frankly, I was reminded of you, Dad. If y’all ever have a chance to meet and just talk, I would love to be a fly on the wall! I’ve learned so much from the both of you, and I cannot thank you enough!

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Long Conversations, Whenever, Wherever–about Anything and Everything: I miss you, Mom–I miss calling you and Dad and just chatting about anything that comes up from politics to relationships to gossip to God!! Luckily I have made the most amazing friends here; we get to chat about all those things too! I’ll need your help picking out cute Halloween goodie bags to distribute baked goods and candy to them, come Fall term–you down?

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So to conclude…thank you all for this incredible Baltic LEAP experience! I have learned so much, grown so much and tasted the excitement and joy that life has to offer. It has been challenging, and frustrating at times–but I have met and seen and experienced so much love and joy here…Truly, I wouldn't have it any other way. Good luck for future trips!